Coors Light, Moving on Up

In a recent article on MSN Money, it was stated that Coors Light is now the no. 2 ranked beer in the US.  Oh boy, that’s good news and what former no. 2 did Coors Light dethrone?  Budweiser.  Now do not fret too much if you are a fellow AB InBev fanboy, Bud Light is still number 1!  So let me get this straight.  Coors light, which tastes like watered down urine sold more than Busweiser, which tastes like less watery urine, which sold far less than the diluted urine inspired Bud Light?  I am not even sure which beer was the fourth best selling in the US last year, but I can tell you one thing, I bet it resembled waste products exiting at least one orifice on your body.  Perhaps consumers of Budweiser did not even realize they were drinking Coors Light and this exchange of 2 and 3 in the rankings is purely due to dimly lit bars where one can drink as many 2 dollar beers in the dark as one wants?

While the craft beer community is well aware of the decreasing market share of the beer giants in the US, the article also points to decreased growth (ABusch) or even loss in the beer stocks (SABMiller, Heineken) while on the other hand, Boston Beer Co. shares are up over 30% since October.  These decreases are a result of multiple variables but besides the recession, I believe the growth of craft beer awareness and education is most responsible.  More and more Americans are refusing to drink tasteless mass produced beer and opting to spend their hard earned cash for locally brewed quality ales and lagers.  While it may be disheartening to know the majority of Americans have terrible if ignorant tastes in beer (or are drinking purely to get drunk), it is encouraging to the see the momentum craft beer is gaining.

Mmm… Is that cold activated?

While this article is short, it’s the comments sections that is most worrisome (albeit entertaining) to me.  Here are a few gems:

“Budlight tastes great its like spring water. Those so called kraft beers are garbage they taste like soup and will give you a nasty headache the next day. If you are an alcoholic like me and you drink 10-12 beers a day everyday you need a light beer that gives only mild hangovers” -johnttt3-16

“I Love BUD!!  This High Quality beer, comes with a little known secret in the beer industry> Budweiser happens to have one of the higher levels of alcohol content. Bud not only gives you high quality crisp taste, but also BUD drinkers get a better beer buzz. SHHH… dont tell miller.” -steve_304

“Where is KEYSTONE LIte BEER? It taste great and it’s less feeling.” -maxhonda

“I know I will piss off alot of people,but I like Tecate.  Bud was my beer of choice for agood many years,it was like mothers milk to me and I was a heavy drinker. I don’t know when I lost my taste for Bud,but I will go without before I drink a bud” -mokeybr

“craft brewed beer is for hippies, bikers whose bikes dont have motors, and people with a stick up their @ss. Real men drink beer that tastes like beer, not coffee . Bud, Bud Light, coors Light, Keystone Light, its all good.” -Rocky Mtn High

I think Max sums it up best, “Mmm, give me an ice cold Bud, and I’ll give you a new statistic on domestic violence.  Coors Light pairs well with TV dinners, cigarettes, and close-mindedness. Miller Lite is just an excuse to party in a corn field.”

I highly recommend you peruse the 500+ comments of hilarity and add to the comments in support of drinking better beer.

Apologies for unoriginal rant.

Stay Soggy friends!  (And if you aren’t soggy get soggy dammit)

Posted on by Kendon in Uncategorized

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